Dads, your role is invaluable to your children

The importance of fathers in the family is often overlooked. While mothers are celebrated in poems, songs, and special days, fathers are frequently left in silence. Occasionally, a blogger might publicly thank her husband, a dedicated father.

Having witnessed the struggles between parents vying for importance, I can appreciate the lessons life has taught me. I’ve experienced, observed, suffered, and judged, all leading to my desire for mutual happiness and appreciation within the family. While I can’t change the past, I aim to foster a loving and appreciative family environment.

In Romanian society, but not exclusively, child-rearing often falls predominantly on mothers, along with the associated responsibilities. Mothers are credited with sacrifices and heroism, while fathers are often seen as mere assistants. This perception needs to change.

Many women, whether young or older mothers believe that men’s roles are limited to providing for the family and enforcing discipline. The idea that men are inherently less capable of nurturing children is prevalent.

However, do mothers teach their sons to be fathers? The answer is often no. Do they teach their daughters, future mothers, to educate their husbands to be good fathers? Again, no. Consequently, how can fathers be expected to be more than modern-day laborers? The key lies with mothers and wives.

Men in our lives are human too, with feelings and sensitivities. They tire and get frustrated, and often lack knowledge on how to interact with children. They might not understand the signals children give, just as many mothers might not. The myth of maternal intuition often overlooks the fact that adult traumas frequently stem from their mothers. Hence, mothers can err just as fathers can.

Fathers often feel excluded and marginalized after the birth of a child, relegated to roles like soothing a colicky baby or occasionally changing a diaper. The joys of infancy and childhood are often reserved for the mother-child bond.

The peace and calm a child finds sleeping on their father’s chest, the laughter from playful feeding times, and the fun during bath time are precious moments that should be shared.

To foster a strong bond, children should be encouraged to seek their father’s presence from birth. Simple actions like the mother talking to the child about the father and ensuring the father’s involvement in daily activities can build this connection.

An involved father is not a babysitter but an equal parent who brings his unique touch to parenting. This includes the same nurturing as a mother, complemented by traits like courage, experimentation, and freedom.

How to Encourage Your Husband to Be an Involved Father

Here are some steps to help your husband become an engaged father:

  • Communicate His Importance: Tell him how vital he is to the child and family. His presence matters, even if he feels he’s not doing much.
  • Explain the Impact: Highlight how his involvement today shapes his future relationship with the child.
  • Encourage Consistency: Emphasize the importance of his consistent presence as the child grows and develops.
  • Acknowledge His Responsibility: Make him aware of the significant impact he has on the child’s future happiness.
  • Support His Unique Parenting Style: Encourage him to engage in activities he enjoys and feels competent in, even if they differ from yours.
  • Share Parenting Techniques: Demonstrate how you care for the child and involve him in routines.
  • Encourage Unique Father-Child Bonds: Support activities that build a distinct relationship between father and child.
  • Avoid Comparison: Never compare parenting styles. Highlight the complementary roles rather than differences.
  • Promote Positive Interaction: Facilitate positive interactions, even during stressful times.
  • Talk Positively About Both Parents: Ensure the child hears positive things about both parents, regardless of who spends more time with them.

In conclusion, fostering an involved father means recognizing and appreciating his unique contributions and encouraging a shared approach to parenting. By doing so, you create a balanced and nurturing environment for your child.


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